Extra Lactose

I’m not lactose intolerant but I’m pretty sure I used to be. No one believes me when I say that because there seems to be a hard and fast consensus that when you are ‘something’ you’re it for life. I can think of a few examples but let’s not go there. Yeah well not me folks and no one else either as far as I’m concerned. Something I do remember about my lactose episodes is that they really weren’t all that bad. There was a balance to be had however. Too little and there was a minor disturbance . A cow chai or latte would have done that back then. Too much and you’d be well and truly inconvenienced but hit the sweet spot* and it would be like a well timed, warm herbal enema. I don’t know what that is expect that Manly P Hal**l eventually died from giving himself too many enemas. Not a great way to go for California’s most famous mystic but hey, each to their own. The point that I was trying to make (and I started this blog three days ago), is that I’ve noticed a habit of going for things with EXTRA lactose*** and I’m not sure why. If it’s test and push the limits then I dig that; if it’s because we’re stubborn as fucks then that’s sad; there’s a third sadistic option that’s sadder still.

I stopped cow chais and lattes for a few years (expect when at Heinz’s house and he’s make a pretty good plunger coffee that we’d have with a BOTTLE of port), and when I went back I was no longer effected. I’d like think that something changed and I grew out of being lactose intolerant. I have many, many other extra lactose moments in my days, weeks and months. Working on them one by one.

*EVERYTHING has a sweet spot and one day I’m going to write a book about it.

**If you get a chance, Google this guy. I just have to find a way to use his picture on a postcard one day.



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